A Poem Painted On A Tear Stained Canvas

So tired of the same issues.
New names are continually drawn,
But the promises of change broken and gone.
Has it been this bad all along?
Or have my eyes finally been able to see,
The lack of trust you have in me?
If you promise you love me through and through,
Then shouldn't you believe what I say is true?
You would think that four months in,
We wouldn't be facin the same problem yet again.
But Trust seems to elude me
This lack of faith binds and confides.
I don't know what i have said or done,
To make it so impossible for your trust to be won.
Why is this misery so abundant
One month left and each week holds a new fight
We are lost in this dark cave...
Where is the light?
Where is the end of this pain?
Where is the light?
Ill search for the light as i paint a poem,
On yet another tear stained canvas.
My thoughts drawn on the page,
help bleed out this rage.
Where is the light?
Wheres the end of this cave?

Daily Grind

Just waistin time
just treadin water
My wheels are spinnin
but i am not movin
Forever running in place
I am confined
By this daily grind.
This repition is murder
The same old routine
confines me binds me
I feel trapped
No way to break the normal
So its Music to get me through
Wear a smile to cover this bruise
Life has me beat down
No just to get up
Its over for this round
Every day is but the same
tired of this game
Want to be a someone
Life is leavin me alone
Its seems as though i have noone
People surround me
Yet i could never be more lonely
I watch as relationships fall apart
and bridges are burned
Nothing i can do
I can not wait to leave
To start new
to leave this town behind
Two months till i am free
Yet in this freedom
I will be enslaved
Just another routine
Just more of the mundane
Bring the sun out
I am tired of this rain

I want to live life where every sentence ends with a question mark
I want to live like every day is my last
I want to act as though it is light. And never dark
I want to Live without a worry
I want to walk under the ladders
I want to live with no cares
I want to not have a plan
Not care where i land
Not careless but worry free
I want to be where i want to be
All of the world i want to see
Watch my past melt away
Leave this town
Never to come back, not even for a short stay
I want to leave
I want to be on my way
Forget about my daughter
Forget about my history
I want to be free
This is my desire
I want to walk through the fire
I want to live without direction
I want to do all that i can
I want to be my own man
Im tired of the constant
The same day after day
I need the repetition to finish
I want to boring to diminish
Two months left till my life begins
Two months till im gone
Two months till i watch my constants burn
I want to bag up my things
and depart with the girl who wears my ring

I have not forsaken thy blog.... I just have nothing to say

Sooo I realize that a post is long overdue. Granted i only know of like two people who actually follow my blog. And one is my father. So Sorry pops. But anyway Lets get back on topic. I would first like to explain the reasons for my absence.

A. My life has become very hectic as off late. Between Sylvia, Air force, and the barn i either don't have time to write poetry or when i do have time just flat out don't feel like it. Now you may think i should just write whether i am in the mood or not. But It doesn't work that way for me If i don't feel it then it shows in my writing. Nothing flows, Everything seems forced and i tend to resent the piece i produce. So i just don't and in the meantime my blog gathers cyber-dust

B. Inspiration. Its not that i lack it at all. Its that when i am struck by it I am in the barn working and don't have time to grab a pad and pen. Or I do get inspired and its about Sylvia which requires the poem to be posted on the blog i created just for things i write for her. Sadly I have thought it best to keep between me and her so You guys reading Whatmymindtellsme go even longer without a post.

C. I actually think i am changing as a person. In the past few months My world has been turned upside down and thrown all around. Some good some bad. but either way through all the turmoil i have changed. and i would like to be able to say that i have changed for the better. But in changing i have started to lose passion for things i once held dear to myself. One of those things is the written word. Not only have i almost stopped writing entirely i have also dropped reading. Its not that i no longer enjoy either of those things but its just that they no longer rank as high on my list of "lifes little pleasures"


Now that you know why i haven't posted in so long what are we to do?

A. I just quit. Drop the blog and say oh well. I mean i leave in two and a half months anyway so what does it matter if i quit now. I highly doubt that i would be able to post poems regularly in the air force anyway.

B. Change the blog itself. Now this wouldn't be to much a change from its original intent. the blog is merely suppose to be an outlet for me. Which in being said outlet it became a place to share my poetry. But i think if i change the blog it would become a place where i post whats going on in my life. This seems like a good option as it would be helpful in keeping my friends and family updated with my life when i depart for the military.

C. I post my old poems. I have a boatload of them in a envelope thing on my desk. It would be easy to do just most of them don't hold much meaning to me anymore so it would become more of a chore for me than a outlet to express myself

So really here's where i ask for your help. ALL TWO OF MY READERS!!!! I need you to comment, text me what you think i should do, or walk down the hall and hold a conversation with me about it. THANKS GUYS.

Come on now
Place that head down
Two step along with the rest
Heads low
cause we don't need no arrogant stance
To know we are the Best.
Now let me offer you a chance
COME Lock Down
Throw down
Ace this test
WE are the revolution
The next step in Evolution
Join us and see the light
No need for fright
Lock Down
Bite Down
and Take Hold of your life
Place Down your silly knife
Let your fists control This Fight
Its your right
Come Join our Fight
Come See the Light
Do it now
Don't wait till later tonight
For By dawn the battles lines will be drawn
If your not with us we shall see that you are gone

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Now playing: My Chemical Romance - Mama
via FoxyTunes

(Comment on what you think the title should be)

A legend in the making
Leave a room shaking
Lyrical bombshells
Take you from suburbia heaven take you to hell
take you down to where i dwell
I am the light
Helping you realize the inner fight
Help you take a life
Darkness will surround our every motion
Im a child of chaos.
born to cause commotion
Evil at its best
Placing all your rules to the test
Forsaken by all
Refusing to answer your call
I have become a tool
Used to help the evil, sinister, cruel
I plant doubt
Hear those doubts go from a whisper
To a shout
DEATH, Chaos, DESTRUCTION
Is what this game is all about
Born a child to be left alone
No here i am all grown
Riding Solo is all i know
Fear Doubt and regret
what i love to sow
Born to watch you sink so low
Born to bring death
Born to take away
Born to leave you with nothing left
Here i am
Here i stand
Blade in hand
Doing what i was born to do
To my purpose i must stay true
Now watch as this
beast in me
slowly
kills
you.

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Now playing: Dave Matthews Band - Too Much
via FoxyTunes